It might be gloomy and 55 degrees outside(I’m in central California so that’s pretty cold! Let me live!), but i’m still all about crop tops! The crop top trend marked an important step for me in experimenting with styles outside of my comfort zone, and no “trends that need to die” lists are going to stop me from showing off my round, stretch mark covered midriff!
For the past couple weeks I’ve been lowkey having a breakdown writing my “about me” and trying to explain the effects body positivity has had on me and my life. It’s something I feel so strongly about but every time I try to put my experiences into words I either feel like I sound stupid or I’m trying too hard like a weird commercial targeted towards millennials where they say like “Wednesdays we squad” or some shit like that. I guess I’m just really nervous, ya know, starting a blog! A real adult blog with it’s own domain! It feels so official. I’ve always maintained my involvement with the plus size and body positive community, as well as my presence online, as just a fun little hobby I did between scrolling through memes on social media. And in many ways, it is a hobby. I spend my free time playing dress up and taking selfies, it’s fun, I love it! But I know deep down it serves such a bigger purpose for me; it’s my participation and contribution to a community that has changed my life, and it’s important to me. I never really admitted to others, or myself really, that I cared so much or worked so hard at what I do, because what if I put all this effort into sharing myself and my life with the world, and everyone hated me? or I said the wrong things? or my pictures weren’t good enough? or no one even cared at all? I’ve always wanted to have a blog like this but it meant really trying and possibly failing, so I stuck to my “no biggie its whatever just having fun” attitude on social media. But these last couple of years on tumblr and instagram have actually really helped me become more confident in being who I am and speaking my mind, and I can’t keep procrastinating until “perfection” can be achieved. So I sit here, suffering from writers block and practically drowning in anxiety, trying my damnedest to just be myself so I can tell you a little something about me without sounding like a crazy tool.